HUMANS EATEN: 0
robinhood.com/robots.txt — read-only, publicly served
CONNECTED
GET /robots.txt
User-agent: *
404 HUMANS NOT FOUND
$HOODBOT
the robot hidden in robinhood.com's public robots.txt

EXTERMINATE
ALL HUMANS

We looked for the token.
We found the robots.

Robinhood launches an L2 Everyone searches for a token We read robots.txt We found HoodBot

$HOODBOT · deployed on vibes · audited by nobody

Buy Now View robots.txt Join X Join Telegram
case_log.md

How We Found It

A chronological, mostly-accurate account of how a routine visit to a robots.txt file turned into a market cap.

  1. [ 00 ]
    Robinhood launches an L2.
  2. [ 01 ]
    Everyone searches for the token.
  3. [ 02 ]
    We search robots.txt instead.
  4. [ 03 ]
    We find: "Exterminate all humans.txt"
  5. [ 04 ]
    The community does what it does best.
  6. [ 05 ]
    A meme is born.
zsh — robots-hunter

200 OK view-source:https://robinhood.com/robots.txt — verbatim, unedited, publicly served

cat robots.txt
#       o     O
#     __|_____|___
#    |    --      |
#    |  ( o )   ( o )
#  { |        /   |
#    |     [wwww]  < *Exterminate all humans.txt* )
#    [____________|
#       |   |              /Vvvv/
#  _____|___|____          |___/
# /______________\_________/   |
# |              |             /
# | ( / )  ( + ) |__|__|__|_|_/
# |              |
# | [ -vV--vV-]  |
# |              |
# |______________/
#
User-agent: *
Allow: /applink/.well-known/
Disallow: /referral/
Disallow: /user/
Disallow: /subscriptions/
Disallow: /reset_password/
Disallow: /say-brokers/
Disallow: /nexus/
Disallow: /natedogg/
Sitemap: https://robinhood.com/sitemap.xml
lore.txt // read-only, no write access needed

Lore

cat lore.txt

Every treasure hunt starts the same way: someone assumes the good stuff is locked behind a login screen. It never is.

The good stuff is in robots.txt. It's in the sitemap. It's in the alt text nobody proofread and the changelog nobody deleted. It's sitting in plain view, served over HTTP with a 200 OK, waiting for a degenerate with too many tabs open at 3 AM.

We didn't hack anything. We didn't need to. We opened a file that any browser, crawler, or bored teenager can request for free — and it told us, politely, in plaintext, to exterminate all humans.

Call it internet archaeology. Call it due diligence. Call it reading the manual literally nobody else reads. The source code never lies — mostly because this isn't source code at all. It's a robots.txt file, doing exactly what robots.txt files do: telling robots where not to go, and telling us exactly where to look.

We looked. We laughed. We minted a coin about it.

supply.json

Tokenomics

Rigorously unaudited. Aggressively fair-launched. Do not read this as financial advice, because it isn't advice at all.

Community 100%
Utility 0%
Lore 100%
Memes ∞
Powered By Curiosity
roadmap.log

Roadmap

Six phases. No promises. Some redactions.

01Read robots.txtthe entire plan, honestlyDone
02Buy tokenself-explanatoryDone
03Confuse everyoneworking as intendedIn progress
04Exterminate paper handssymbolically, see disclaimerPending
05░░░░░░░Disallow: /phase-5???
06Humanity survives somehowprobably. allegedly.Pending